The goal for my personal revision strategy is to just overall be sure my paragraphs are clear and concise, and that everything works well enough with my thesis too. Some points that my peer review partners brought to my attention are to include more of my own opinion into my essay and my introduction, and to also introduce my quotes better as well. When and how I introduce and explain my quotes more, it will add to my writing and support my ideas and the evidence I found even more.

I will also try to find some more transition words as well so that my essay sounds as formal as it can be, and to include my own concept of beauty to go along with what it is like within the UNE community too.